9 Signs You Should Fire Your Doctor

By Hilary Thompson

Credit: Adobe Stock

Your doctors help with so much more than just your health. They impact your pain management, your health care experience, your quality of life and even how long you are able to live it. Because they are such a powerful force in your life, it is crucial that you hold them to a high standard.

And physicians like Dr. Neel Anand, professor of orthopedic surgery and director of spine trauma at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, couldn’t agree more.

“When you keep expectations high, you find better providers and you also more often hold yourself accountable to following their prescribed treatments because you inherently trust in them,” he says. That’s a win-win for you and the doctor.

Here are nine warning signs that it might be time to find a new doctor:

1. You don’t feel heard. Your doctor should listen — really listen — to all of your concerns. If you want to discuss your heart disease risks and your family’s cancer history and all your doctor wants to talk about is your hearing, there is a major disconnect that may not be bridgeable.

Anand says: “If you’ve waited a long time to see this person and they provide you five minutes of time, most of which is spent staring at the chart… it’s best to go with the doctor who puts down the chart and actively listens to what’s going on with you. You’ll both be better for it.” Dr. Edward Hallowell, a New York City psychiatrist, adds that if a doctor cuts you off or frequently prevents you from sharing the whole story, it’s time to find a new one.

2. You have a serious personality conflict. How do you trust a doctor who you can’t bring yourself to like? Dr. Peter LePort, bariatric surgeon and medical director of MemorialCare Surgical Weight Loss Center at Orange Coast Medical Center in Fountain Valley, Calif., says personality is pretty important.

“I’m not talking about the [doctor’s] qualifications or outcomes. Those are very important factors, but what I’m talking about has to do with how you feel about the [doctor] you are considering,” he says. Concerns about the physician’s dedication to you as a patient, your ability to trust him or her, he says, may be on the warm and fuzzy side, but it’s equally important as the doctor’s skills and outcomes.

Would you want someone you can’t stand operating on you or making major medical decisions for you, despite the fact this person may be talented? For some, this is a deal-breaker.

3. Your doctor is too stretched to serve you. He or she may be the best doctor in the world, but if you can’t get in for an appointment within a reasonable time or the physician has way too many patients to make you a priority, you may need to seek someone who is more conscious of your needs.

Of course, much of this depends on how populated your area is and how many doctors there are. A recent report can tell you what the practitioner-to-patient ratio is in your state. For instance, Hawaii has a nurse shortage and Idaho has a physician shortage. If you live in a state with shortages, you might look for a new medical practice in your area with a shorter list of patients who won’t be overbooked yet.

4. Your doctor’s approach is not healing you. Sometimes you need a second opinion if treatment doesn’t seem to be working. But research shows that you should venture outside your doctor’s practice to get an unbiased opinion. You may want to do so for no other reason than to give you the confidence that you’re going in the right direction.

5. Your doctor doesn’t educate you. These days, some medical answers are one Google search query away. But there are disadvantages to getting your information this way, including the potential for poor-quality or biased sources. Hopefully your doctor is a reliable source for all the information you need, so you don’t feel compelled to seek more information elsewhere. You should be educated completely about your medications, conditions and treatment options.

6. You can’t be honest with your doctor. Your doctor needs all the information you can possibly provide to make decisions about your care. LePort notes, “When you know you can talk to your doctor, you’re more likely to keep your appointments, follow his or her advice and implement suggestions for making adjustments that are right for you.”

Hallowell agrees and underscores the importance of trusting your doctor. He says you should be able to tell your physician things you wouldn’t even tell your best friend. If you are unable to, he says it “may be cause for ending the relationship.”

7. Your doctor is too aggressive. Be careful how quickly your doctor moves to extreme treatment options. Anand says that, in medicine, you should seek a doctor who is both conservative and a little aggressive. For instance, if you go to see a doctor about your back pain and he or she immediately wants to schedule surgery, that should be a huge red flag.

“What you really want is someone who will assess your condition over some period of time, trying the least invasive and disruptive approaches to managing your back pain first. But you also want him or her to stay on top of it, too. That’s where the aggressive part comes in,” he said. That being said, Anand maintains that your doctor needs to make adjustments quickly if things are not working.

8. Your doctor refuses to coordinate with your other specialists. Care coordination is crucial, especially with your primary care physician (PCP). But all your doctors should be communicating at some level. Most often, a PCP acts as the “hub” of information, especially in complicated cases. A study done of patients in 11 different countries found that roughly 5 percent of patients reported their care coordination as “poor.” If your doctor won’t communicate with your other doctors about your care, it might be time to find a new one, especially if this physician is  your PCP.

9. You feel bullied. If your doctor is pressuring you to undergo a treatment or take a medication you’re not comfortable with, or isn’t open to second opinions, this is not a good sign. There are usually at least a couple of treatment options your doctor should be discussing with you. According to the Patient Advocate Foundation, “Statistics show that over one-third of adults in the United States will never seek a second opinion and almost one-tenth of newly diagnosed patients rarely or never understand their diagnosis.”

Hallowell says a doctor who doesn’t answer all your questions, doesn’t return phone calls, speaks condescendingly or keeps you in the dark is not well-suited to you.

 

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Dr. George Farah: Physician and Artist

The canvas was stark white, remembers Casa de Mañana resident Dr. George Farah. “I was about seven years old visiting the countryside near Beirut, Lebanon where I grew up,” he said. “I was watching intently as I saw a man and a woman apply colorful paint and gradually change the white canvas from literally nothing to intense beauty. This experience gave me great happiness and started me on a path from which I never strayed – the path to becoming an artist.”

Dr. Farah, a renowned cardiologist with a distinguished practice in Chicago for many years, shares his love of painting with his love of medicine. Both give him great joy. But unlike medicine, he has no formal training as an artist. He either paints at Casa de Mañana’s resident art studio (where he also teaches) or in his apartment.

“I love watercolor landscapes,” Dr. Farah said. “Since I’ve traveled around the world I’ve seen a great deal. Now living at Casa de Mañana I can reflect on my journeys abroad and paint them on canvas to share with others. Sketches I’ve made during my travels take me back to those places. I mentally recreate those scenes and rediscover the feelings I had during that time.” Casa de Mañana’s exceptional seaside location with its magnificent light and natural beauty provides Dr. Farah a perfect palate. In fact, he has dedicated part of a calendar he produces each year to capturing Casa’s beauty. Its many buildings as well as the La Jolla shoreline and cove in which it sits grace the calendar’s pages.

“I never paint from a picture,” Dr. Farah said. “I visit every place I paint in person and make a sketch. I take the sketch home and apply watercolor. It’s very relaxing. I feel that I lose myself in the moment.”

Dr. Farah’s watercolors have been featured in exhibits and in magazines including several times on the cover of Chicago Medicine, the official publication of the Chicago Medical Society. “When I first saw Casa, the ocean and the architecture I told my daughter I want to live here,” he said. “Who wouldn’t? It’s picture perfect.”

"Whosoever humbles himself shall be exalted."

by Chris Foster, resident at Wesley Palms Retirement Community


AS A PHYSICIAN I am bound, of course, by the Hippocratic Oath and its first principle, "Do no harm." This ancient document moves on to more positive aspirations and so do I. I have never considered it sufficient to simply avoid doing harm. I believe we have the moral obligation to seek to do good wherever, whenever, and in whatever way we can.

That was probably what motivated me while growing up in Glascow, Kentucky to choose a career in medicine. It began with a Bachelor's degree in Biology at Vanderbilt, followed by Med School at the University of Louisville. It was there I met and fell in love with Kathy, a nursing student from Indiana. We dated for a year, then decided to get married despite the fact that student nurses were not allowed to marry. A private ceremony was held in Kathy's home in Indiana and then we returned to Louisville and continued to live in our separate dormitories. We did keep an off-campus apartment, but that was kept secret too. Only on the day of Kathy's graduation two years later did we "come out" and wear our wedding rings in public.

Next came a three year residency in ear, nose and throat surgery in Roanoke, VA and a two-year hitch with the U.S. Air Force before I could begin my private practice back in my home town.

In 1969 Kathy and I and our two sons moved to La Jolla, California where I pursued the dual careers of surgery and teaching at the University of California San Diego (UCSD) School of Medicine. There was symmetry in that since I have always been both an active practitioner and a teacher.

While doing both of these demanding tasks I also became certified as a Bible instructor and for many years taught a large adult Sunday School class at La Jolla's Torrey Pines Christian Church. So now you know that a foundation of my philosophy of life and system of ethics is solidly based on Biblical principles.

My career as a surgeon came to a sudden end when I lost my sight, literally overnight. I am now legally blind, though I continue to see shapes and images "as through a glass darkly." I still dream some nights of being back in the Operating Room, but with nothing but a 40 watt bulb for light.

But when one door shuts another opens. I now, in my retirement, am actively involved with the Braille Society, both as a student and as a teacher.

Let me share with you one of the most important lessons I have ever learned. Several years ago I was President of the San Diego Ear, Nose and Throat Society. We were meeting at the beautiful Atlantis Restaurant. Our guest speaker was Dr. Bill House, who was one of the world's greatest ear surgeons. My job was to introducing him. Just prior to the introduction we were served Tortilla Soup. All of a sudden I got very hot. My tie had fallen into the hot soup and was being soaked up like litmus paper. As I stood to introduce him, Dr. House noticed my tie and my embarrassment. He then intentionally put his own silk tie into his soup. He began his speech by commenting that apparently this was a custom in San Diego. I never eat soup without remembering how this very great, but very humble, man helped ease my moment of red-faced chagrin. Ever since I have looked for moments when I might do something similar for someone else in their time of need.

"Whosoever humbles himself shall be exalted" is an excerpt from Aging As An Art Form: Through the Eyes Of Residents of Wesley Palms by Wesley Palms resident Don McEvoy. The book contains 50 stories, experiences and life lessons either self-written or told to Don through interviews.

Don McEvoy is storyteller, former pastor and civil rights activist. Aging As An Art Form is available from Outskirts Press and Amazon.com. Proceeds from the book benefit the residents of Wesley Palms.