The scent of hot buttered popcorn fills the air as residents relax in their large, overstuffed reclining bright red leather seats anxiously waiting for the lights to dim and the heavy leather wrapped studded door to close. It’s not only movie time at Sunny View but a theater experience like no other.
With its surround multi-speaker audio system, 145-inch HD screen and reflective acoustical panels, Sunny View’s new movie theater provides a state-of-the-art experience, yet harkens back to a time when ushers with red flashlights wore tuxedos and double features were the norm.
“I never dreamed Sunny View could build something like this,” said resident Gloria Burns. “This is a true theater experience in so many ways.”
The 21-seat theater was made possible due to the generosity of former resident Bruce Watts and current resident Mitch Wendell who financed the project through the Sunny View Foundation. Movie lovers, sports fans and music enthusiasts, Bruce and Mitch wanted to create an immersive experience where residents could enjoy the latest releases as well as classic films, sporting events and concerts.
“I’m most interested in classical music,” Mitch said, who hosts a regular classical concert series in the theater. “But this theater is perfect for all sorts of events including lectures and even guided meditation.”
The theater is able to stream the latest movies through Apple TV and Netflix and is
equipped with a DVD and Blue-Ray players to give residents choices ranging from classics like Casablanca and My Fair Lady to contemporary films like La La Land and The Shape of Water.
Future plans for the theater are to integrate voice first technology so residents can easily operate controls and make viewing choices. A theater lounge with a snack bar is scheduled to open in the fall.
“Enhancing resident life is one of the Sunny View Foundation’s goals,” said Sunny View Foundation Development Director Bill Penrod. “I’m pleased that our generous residents could make a project like this come to life.”
Pioneering physician, veteran, family man, detective novel enthusiast, 60-year Santa Barbara resident and amateur astronomer all describe Vista del Monte resident Dr. Dean Vogel.
“I have a full life -- a somewhat exciting life -- and I’m looking forward to experiencing new things at Vista del Monte,” Dr. Vogel said.
Dr. Vogel was born in a small town in Indiana but moved to southern California when his brother received a basketball scholarship to play at USC. After graduating from medical school, he was an associate member of the Mayo Clinic before coming to Santa Barbara. He was instrumental in bringing coronary care to southern California in 1968 when the field was in its infancy.
Although the retired internist likes to keep up to date on the latest medical news, he spends most of his time enjoying the simple pleasures of life with his wife Mary at Vista del Monte.
“The last few years I’ve been the cook in the family so I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore,” Dr. Vogel said with a smile. “The food here is excellent. And whenever we go to dinner here we end up sitting with someone with a PhD, or someone who performed on the New York stage or someone with an interesting hobby or story. The people here are just fantastic!”
He describes his wife Mary as a crossword puzzle expert. They both appreciate the newly landscaped grounds. “I don’t think there is another retirement community in the area that has such a wonderful garden as we have here.”
When Dr. Vogel wants some quiet time, he listens to detective novels using books on tape or gazes at the stars from his balcony through his telescope – lifelong hobbies that he has plenty of time to savor.
“Living at a continuing care community was important to us at this time of life.” Dr. Vogel added. “We looked at several communities but Vista del Monte is by far the best choice for us.”
Since my sky diving adventure, friends and kin have praised me for being courageous. I don't see it that way. Yes, I am of a "certain age" as they say, but every resident at Wesley Palms knows about being "courageous" in so many ways. We all have reached a stage in life where we experience things that require a great deal of strength — struggle daily through pain of body and pain of losses. It takes effort. It takes courage. If you are a senior, you know what I mean. We all are here at a lovely retirement community for some reason or other. Yes, we miss our old life, and our new one requires much of us, which includes situations we never dreamed we'd have, and it isn't always easy. To those much younger who ask about the right life-style to survive to old age, I admit I don't exercise as I should; I love junk food, and don't care if the early bird gets the worm. I give in to pain sometimes and upset family and bore others by giving "blow by blow" accounts of it all!
There is no true answer to the question; everyone has their own way of dealing with the Golden Years even when they are a bit tarnished. Sometimes I find it annoyingly necessary to reach for my cane on what I refer to as "my bad day," but it is needed for balance. I hope for wisdom of my years, and the courage to face whatever life now presents. Whether good or bad, this is the "now" and better if we can call it just another adventure in living. Funny, but high places always scared me. Perhaps, subconsciously, I took a sky jump to prove something to myself and it did give me a good feeling to conquer that fear. I rejuvenated myself. I'm pleased that I just dumped wise advice and gave in to the urge to see beauty from a bird's eye view. It is similar to the urge that recently had me buying paints to learn about putting happy, bright colors on a canvas. I wish I could ride a horse again—my mother and sister did in their eighties—but I couldn't get a leg up no matter how much I feel that urge. There are things I realize I can't do, and fears I haven't conquered like jumping into the deep end of a swimming pool.
The most important thing is to keep trying to squeeze every bit of joy out of life. So...any one ready to start a Wesley Palms Sky Diving Club?
Resident favorites and culinary creations highlight menu
Wesley Palms residents are looking for a taste of the good life, in more ways than one. Whether based on traditions from their kitchens or dishes from favorite residents, Wesley Palms residents share their passion for good food.
“Residents tell us that dining well is very important to them,” said Muhannad Sofi, Wesley Palms dining room manager. “At Wesley Palms we take that to heart by creating a unique dining experience. In some ways we are reinventing retirement living cuisine.”
Executive Chef Sean O’Leary, his food and beverage professionals, and Muhannad, create high-quality dishes from scratch paying attention to culinary trends and resident requests.
“We’ve introduced a new bistro menu that features 16 items mostly made from scratch,” said Sean, a graduate from the Western Culinary Institute. “Among them are salmon, beef tenderloin, chicken, shrimp, barbeque, seasonal items, a variety of salads, homemade soups and breakfast anytime.”
Just like fine dining restaurants, Wesley Palms features a seasonally inspired menu of creative dishes and old favorites. And with an ever-changing array of fresh daily specials, boredom doesn’t stand a chance. In celebration of the community’s revitalization project, each Tuesday night the dining rooms serves a “Redevelopment Special” entrée that rotates among lamb shank, beef tenderloin, lobster, jumbo shrimp, large sea scallops, prime rib, Alaskan Halibut as well as other resident favorites. Lunch time on Thursdays features a barbeque menu and residents enjoy happy hour Mondays through Fridays with a pianist.
Sean and Muhannad take pride in using superior, locally sourced ingredients, including fruits, vegetables and herbs. Gluten-free, sugar-free and low-sodium items are offered for all types of dietary needs and tastes.
“Our residents are always number one,” Muhannad said. “Communication is key among dining room staff, kitchen staff and the residents. We have consistently received above average scores on resident satisfaction surveys when it comes to dining. We want to make sure we maintain those high scores.”
Regular discussions with the dining room manager and executive chef ensure that residents have the opportunity to provide feedback. “The residents get involved in the dining experience,” Sean said. “We rely on their feedback and suggestions to always improve. We even have a menu suggestion box.”
Residents can choose to sit indoors or on the adjacent patio overlooking Mission Bay and enjoy a colorful garden salad or a delectable entrée and mouthwatering dessert. The dining room and patio are open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Residents can always expect the dining experience at Wesley Palms to be a special treat.
On Mom’s red jacket, raindrops did fall, They made such a racket, a resounding call, They bubbled and glistened and rolled off with ease as mother, warm, dry and so very pleased said “listen, listen!”
“I miss the sound of the rain,” she led, Curious that, what’s that she said? “The pitter patter on roof top gutters, The split and splatter on sidewalk and shudders, Listen, listen!”
“I live in a high-rise, no chance to hear the raindrops as they come so near It’s just a sound I remember clear, it brings back memories ,oh, so dear, Listen, Listen!”
A little thing, but perhaps one of many, A raindrop catcher, can’t cost a penny? A tin pan placed on the patio rightly catches the pitter patter more than just slightly, “Listen, Listen!”
CLH to work with city to create much needed affordable housing for seniors
The recent closure of Grace Lutheran church in Santa Barbara signifies an ending in one sense, but it is also a sign of a fresh beginning. The gifting of the land to California Lutheran Homes and the city housing authority will allow Grace’s legacy of service to its community to continue by providing much needed housing to low-income seniors.
While the closing of Grace Lutheran Church creates a new legacy of shelter for vulnerable seniors through the development of Grace Village an affordable housing community for low-income seniors, the congregation is assuring vital ongoing support for its new residents through Grace Village Services as well as ongoing support for low-income families and individuals served by local community agencies.
Grace Housing Inc., a nonprofit corporation, has been formed to receive and distribute lease income from Grace Lutheran’s properties now administered by California Lutheran Homes. Income from these leases will fund local services through a Legacy Framework established by the congregation. The congregation will see funding continue for community organizations supporting the mission of establishing permanent housing for families and food security, including Transition House and Habitat for Humanity, as well as Grace Lutheran’s 40-year-old Saturday food program, the Grace Food Pantry.
Construction of Grace Village is expected to break ground in 2016, followed by an estimated 18-month construction schedule.
The Grace Lutheran facility will also continue to serve the community until construction begins, as the church building will continue to host the many community groups that have been meeting there over the years, including several 12-Step groups, Alzheimer's support groups, Grace Quilters and others.
“Although with a measure of pain and a sense of loss, the closing of the Grace congregation does not mean the end of a ministry,” said Pat Wheatley, president of Grace Lutheran Church. “In fact, closing has provided the congregation an opportunity of expanding that ministry throughout the years as we try to listen to what God is calling us to do.”
As a long established Lutheran church on State Street with strong ties to the community for more than a century, Grace Lutheran knows the importance of leaving a legacy.
“The need in Santa Barbara for affordable, truly affordable, housing for the aging population was a ministry we could see belonged at this site,” said Rev. Lynn Bruer, former pastor of Grace Lutheran. “For more than a decade, as the congregation saw that it was increasing in age and not growing in numbers, they have had intentional conversations about the future and the mission.”
Along the way, Grace board members came up with several good ideas and affordable senior housing was one of them.
“This is a strong partnership,” said CLH president and CEO Rev. Gary Wheeler. “Both Grace Lutheran and California Lutheran Homes have a strong commitment to social ministry and the creation of affordable housing is a way of making a real difference in the lives of those we serve.”
The City of Santa Barbara recently updated its general plan to add additional affordable housing to meet increased need, according to Bill Jennings, CLH CFO.
“CLH has a long history of turning donors’ gifts into lasting legacies,” Rev. Wheeler said. “Our work with CARING Housing Ministries in the area of affordable housing is just one way we and our partners can make a difference in people’s lives. Working with churches who want to use their resources to leave a lasting legacy of social ministry is an important outgrowth of our collaborative work through the church.”
For more information on how you can leave a legacy through CLH, contact CLH Executive Jill Hammer at 800-233-3709 or visit californialutheranhomes.org.
CALIFORNIA
LUTHERAN HOMES AND COMMUNITY SERVICES
California
Lutheran Homes and Community Services (CLH) is a not-for-profit social
ministry organization founded in 1947. CLH’s mission is meeting needs through ‘faith in action’ including support for residents
of affordable housing communities managed by partner CARING Housing Ministries,
and residents of Front Porch retirement communities, care centers and
active-adult communities. CLH-sponsored
retirement and active-adult living communities include Carlsbad By The Sea in
Carlsbad, CA; Walnut Village in Anaheim, CA, England Oaks in Alexandria, VA and
Cecil Pines in Jacksonville, FL. Among the programs and services supported
by CLH are the CLH Center for Spirituality and Aging, whose mission is to meet
the needs of older adults based on the understanding that aging is a spiritual
journey; the Front Porch Gallery, which creates community by promoting an
understanding of aging through art; the Front Porch Center for Innovation and
Wellbeing, which enhances wellbeing and quality of life through the adaptive
use of technology; the CLH Auxiliary; and the Charitable Care Fund, which
supports residents in need who have outlived their finances.
Telehealth holds promise as a way for seniors to receive medical evaluations and interventions from the comfort of their own home — including in senior living communities — through technologies such as video and wearable sensors.
Providers see telemedicine as a way to potentially avoid hospital admissions and improve residents’ well-being. But with the technology still in its early stages, some operators wonder: Is it all it’s cracked up to be?
Senior living operator Front Porch is embarking on a pilot with Intel-GE Care Innovations to find out.
Senior Living Revitalization Celebrates Mid-Century Modern Origins and Embraces Dedication to San Diego Community
Wesley Palms, a Front Porch full-service retirement community on San Diego's beautiful Mt. Soledad overlooking the Pacific Ocean, announces a redevelopment plan comprising a revitalization of the iconic mid-century main building apartments and amenities, and the unveiling of 29 new patio homes in place of existing cottages in the first two phases. The phased revitalization commenced in April with the ethos to preserve the mid-century modern aesthetic of the original construction which opened in 1962. The revitalization will improve the 35-acre parkland and retain Wesley Palms' character, serving as an ode to an iconic era in California architecture and a complement to the style of the adjacent neighborhood.
Architect’s rendering
of one of the six new patio home models that will be offered as part of
the Wesley Palms Retirement Community revitalization project. This
two-bedroom, two-bath twin home model named “Verbena” measures
1,317square feet and features mid-century styling and an open plan design
The patio homes in Phases One and Two will be completed within the first fourteen months and are slated to open for residents in summer 2016. Wesley Palms welcomes new and returning residents to reserve their new home. Current residents will be given first priority and interested individuals are invited to join the 'interest list' for current and future phases. Currently there are 15 two-bedroom patio homes available for reservation.
Wesley Palms will continue its current operations as a vibrant, supportive community throughout the phased revitalization. Summer House at Wesley Palms memory care neighborhood and Courtyard catered living cottages will continue to accept new residents as openings become available.
Mid-century modern aesthetic fused with contemporary amenities
Details of the first phases include a transformation of 26 cottages into 29 exquisite patio homes, improvements of amenities within and around the main building, and enhancements of the extraordinary landscape. Wesley Palms' modern revitalization will enrich the retirement lifestyle offerings for current and future residents. Upgrades to the main building include: Interiors will be converted to enhance connectedness among residents with added amenities such as a café, remodeled library and reading patio, business center, fitness/wellbeing center, chapel, and the addition of a heated therapy pool.
The structural integrity and iconic façade of the main building, with its signature chevron porte cochere and classic mid-century architecture, will be retained, given the mid-century southern California appeal of the original 1962 design.
Main building residences will be remodeled and refreshed with new windows, plumbing, electrical and HVAC.
The revitalization will introduce new single-story patio homes with the sleek style and function of mid-century modern design. Built with the temperate San Diego weather in mind, the twenty-nine patio homes in Phases One and Two will celebrate nature and open plan living, highlighting: an indoor-outdoor lifestyle with airy, barrier free designs to take advantage of parkland or ocean views; generous windows and high ceilings to welcome natural light and beauty of the natural landscape; sleek touches like mosaic glass backsplashes, cathedral ceilings, clerestory windows, designer kitchens and baths and large patios for soaking up the Southern California sunshine; walking paths connecting to outdoor courtyards, fostering a sense of community and encouraging neighborly gatherings.
"The new patio homes and added amenities are just a couple of reasons why we're so excited about what the revitalization brings to Wesley Palms residents and the greater community," said Wesley Palms Executive Director Ben Geske. "We have an extraordinary location, a unique history and a strong sense of community that we will celebrate and honor with this revitalization plan."
The Wesley Palms revitalization will be the latest endeavor in Front Porch's mission to create thoughtful and unique places that are respectful of the environment, celebrate the individual, and attend to the natural aesthetic of form and function. Attention to sustainability and reverence for the environment are key features of the new Wesley Palms community. For example, the revitalization will retain and enhance the following elements: the indigenous and mature landscape, reuse of foundational building materials, energy efficiency and low water usage, and selection of green building materials.
Wesley Palms calls its revitalization effort '360 degree living.' Overlooking downtown San Diego, Mission Bay and the Pacific Ocean, Wesley Palms offers all of the nearby benefits of San Diego living including beautiful beaches, world famous attractions, and the art and culture of La Jolla and San Diego just minutes away. Wesley Palms boasts convenient access to highways, San Diego International Airport, a cruise terminal, exceptional health care systems and excellent universities.
About Wesley Palms A Front Porch full-service retirement community, Wesley Palms is located in San Diego's Pacific Beach neighborhood near the top of Mt. Soledad overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Wesley Palms boasts a 35-acre park with lush landscape inspired by Kate Sessions, famed San Diego horticulturist. The community is known for its energy and vibrancy, which is reflected in the community's design. In 2012, the community was awarded the National Association of Home Builders Gold Award for its innovative interior design in its remodeled lobby and common spaces. In 2014, the community received the National Association of Home Builders Silver Award for its design and development of Summer House memory care neighborhood at Wesley Palms. For more information about Wesley Palms, visit www.wesleypalms.org.
About Front Porch Front Porch is Southern California's largest not for profit provider of senior living. Each Front Porch community has a unique style with a broad range of options and service, including independent living, skilled care, assisted living and memory support. Headquartered in Glendale, California, Front Porch is dedicated to doing everything Humanly Possible(SM) to meet the needs of older adults now and in the future. Using innovative design and socially responsible principles, Front Porch seeks to enhance the lives and lifestyles of active adults and seniors through development of unique communities in extraordinary locations. Front Porch has managed many award-winning redevelopment projects and remains dedicated to developing communities that are economically sound, environmentally responsible and supportive of community spirit.
For more information contact: Michelle van Kriedt/Jamie Mesenburg Email Contact (415) 986-7212
Today's new breed of service dogs provides assistance in a variety of ways beyond their best-known role as escorts for blind companions. They retrieve household objects for people with limited mobility, act as ears for hearing-impaired individuals, monitor children with life-threatening food allergies and more. Some researchers are even exploring the role dogs can play aiding adults suffering from dementia.
All of these impressive adult dogs, though, start life much like any other puppy, growing up in a home where they're loved, socialized and taught basic obedience. Volunteers are a critical part of this process. Because of the high demand for service animals, most training organizations rely on outside help to oversee their dogs' early care, usually from the time a puppy is about 2 months old until sometime between his first and second birthday.
"We could not do what we do without our puppy raisers," says Nancy Fierer, director of Susquehanna Service Dogs in Pennsylvania, which has more than 60 puppies receiving early socialization in volunteers' homes at any given time.
Who Makes a Good Volunteer?
An extensive background with dogs is not required to raise a service pup, says Joyce Thielen, board member (and three-time puppy raiser) with Canine Partners of the Rockies in Colorado. If you want to bring some puppy love into your empty nest — and make a difference in your community — becoming a volunteer "puppy raiser" may be for you.
"Puppy raising is an opportunity for someone who is nurturing and interested in the way a puppy learns," Thielen says. "You're expected to give the puppy your time, energy and love and attend regular training sessions."
Agencies ask that everyone in your home be consistent with the training methods and remain mindful that the puppy isn't a permanent member of the household. "Stay flexible, do your best, listen to your pup, ask for help and enjoy the lovely dog you are raising," Thielen says.
Many service-pup hosts are empty-nesters for whom the companionship enlivens otherwise quiet homes. "I received my puppy to train as my youngest child went off to college," Thielen says. "I had wrapped up my career with the public-school system and had just lost a parent for whom I was the primary caregiver."
What's Expected
Once a service dog starts working, he will accompany his future client everywhere, from medical appointments at hectic clinics to raucous family gatherings to quieter work or school environments. Time spent with a puppy raiser in a variety of situations is invaluable training. "The most important part of being a puppy raiser is to work on socialization and house manners," says Carol Nesbitt, who has raised three pups through Susquehanna Service Dogs. "You need to teach the dog self-control, house training skills and crate training."
Since socialization is so important in preparing a puppy for his career, volunteers are asked to take the dogs out as much as possible, even if it slows their routines down a bit. "You'll have the puppy with you most of the time," Nesbitt says. "That means a quick trip to the grocery store may take an extra 30 minutes. Some raisers bring their puppy to work and have a crate there."
Puppy raisers must also attend basic training classes with their charges, typically at the service organization overseeing the dogs or with an approved service-animal trainer. You'll learn how to teach basic obedience skills and will be expected to practice drills frequently. But you don't have to do it all on your own. You'll be supported by an extensive network, including professional trainers and more experienced volunteers. Most organizations also have pre-approved dog sitters on call should its volunteers need short-term puppy care.
Rough Goodbyes
It's only natural that after sharing your home and watching a puppy learn and grow, turning him over can be emotional. "It is very hard," says Donna Travis, a volunteer with Susquehanna Service Dogs who recently completed training a puppy for the first time. "The puppies are so cute and you've bonded."
While there's no easy solution for the pain of separation many volunteers experience, most say they find comfort thinking about the good work the dogs will do for others. "As a raiser," Travis says, "you are reminded always that it is not your dog. They're not pets; they have a job to do."
Travis received Judge, a black Labrador retriever, when he was 8 weeks old. When he was 1 1/2 years old, he began living weekdays at an advanced-training kennel, returning to her home on the weekends. At age 2, Judge left permanently to begin serving his client. Like most such agencies, Susquehanna Service Dogs does not allow puppy raisers to visit with dogs once they have moved on, but it does send Travis photos and updates about Judge's success.
"We know he is loved and cared for and has a fulfilling life," she says. "It blesses us over and over each time we think of how he is helping someone have a life in the community again. You feel very proud knowing you had a part in that.
"It is bittersweet, but we would do it again and again," she says. "You just can't say no. Instead, you say, 'How can I not raise a puppy to be a service dog for someone?'"
Front Porch's Peggy Buchanan and Mary Miller talk about their passion for raising service dogs
Front Porch is a not-for-profit support system for a family of companies that serve individuals and families through full-service retirement, active adult communities, and affordable housing communities.
Innovative ways to boost brain health have emerged in recent years. Come and learn what it takes to keep your brain fit and try some new techniques to stay sharp.
Please join us for this informative and interactive presentation,
hosted by Summer House at Walnut Village:
Thursday, May 7, 2015 from 4:00 pm to 6:00 pm
Walnut Village’s Lifelong Learning Center 891 S. Walnut Street, Anaheim, CA 92802
Beverages and appetizers • Complimentary valet parking
Tours available RSVP by Friday, May 1 to Marina (714) 507-7005.
ABOUT SUMMER HOUSE AT WALNUT VILLAGE
Summer House is part of Walnut Village, Orange County’s most award-winning continuing care retirement community with full-service, resort style living. Summer House is a memory care support neighborhood that’s spacious in size, yet offers an intimate setting of 14 accommodations for private or companion living.
Summer House at Walnut Village 891 S. Walnut Street Anaheim, CA 92802
My 30-Day Declutter Challenge ended in a flurry as I scrambled to complete the last three days of clutter collection.
The goal of the challenge was to collect one item on Day 1, two on Day 2 and so forth for 30 days. By the end, I had culled more than the requisite 465 items, really closer to 500.
My declutter pile is big (see ugly photo) but not as big as I imagined when I started the challenge — maybe because I didn't have large items like furniture to shed. Instead, I have amassed a large pile of small items like books, toys and electronic flotsam and jetsam.
The challenge was well suited to a declutter procrastinator like me. Having rules to guide (and force) me to collect a certain number of items per day was really helpful. It occurred to me that you might also do the challenge backwards starting with 30 items when you are most fired up and work down to one item for Day 30. However you get there, you'll be glad you did.
Readers Share Their Declutter Tips
We invited readers to join the challenge (it's not too late to start now) and asked them to share their best tips for paring down their possessions. They had some great advice:
"I keep a shopping bag and fill it with things to give away, and donate that full bag every week to a local thrift shop. Then I open a new shopping bag to fill." Pamela Koller, Queens, N.Y.
"I decide what has value for me today. What do I really need and want in my life today, and what is something from the past that no longer serves me?" Kevin McGrath, Anaheim, Calif.
"I try to think if anyone else will care about this item if I were dead. The answer is most often, no. I still may have a hard time parting with it. I don't like to throw away anything useful, so it must be donated or put on the curb for someone to take." Pam Chapman, Dallas, Texas
"I organized and labeled boxes into categories: trash, sell, donate, file." Rich Crossett, Louisville, Ky.
"I remembered William Morris' (19th century textile designer and novelist) dictum: 'Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.'” Jean Melom, Seattle, Wash.
Like me, some readers found it painful to part with some things. Asked what was hardest to part with, Koller said, "cards saved by my recently deceased mother. I can't part with them. Yet."
Marie Scruggs, of Dallas, Texas said, "We gave away a trampoline that wouldn't fit into our new backyard. That was hard. The kids had so many great memories associated with it."
Melom said her books were hardest to discard. "But a friend was having a big book sale with benefits to support the marriage equality campaign in my (former) state, so I felt good helping a cause I believed in," she noted.
Other Ways to Declutter
Doing a declutter challenge or following tips from others are two ways to jettison things you don't need. But what if you have years' worth of stuff and need help going through it? Or you don't have a lot of clutter but need help organizing what you do have or are preparing for a move?
Professional organizer Janine Adams ofPeace of Mind Organizing in St. Louis, Mo., suggests partnering with a friend to get two houses done instead of one. The work will go faster if you have someone to keep you on task, she says. Even Adams declutters with another professional organizer. She recommends you choose the friend carefully. Someone who will encourage you to keep everything or is easily distracted or is in it for the stuff she'll get may not be the best person for the task.
When You Can't (or Don't Want To) Go it Alone
Sometimes you just need a professional if you don't know where to start or don't have time to do it on your own. Adams says there are five common reasons people turn to professionals for help organizing:
1. They feel overwhelmed.
2. They don’t know how to get organized.
3. They are afraid they don't know how to do it right.
4. They want it to go quickly.
5. They need help staying focused.
If you are looking for a professional to help declutter or organize, check the directory of theNational Association of Professional Organizers. You can search by ZIP code and expertise, such as help for families with children or hoarders or particular needs or home office set-up. When I did a general search for residential services, I came up with 33 organizers within five miles of my home.
If you are helping a parent move or preparing yourself for a move to a retirement community or a smaller home, you can find tips and someone to help through theNational Association of Senior Move Managers.
Adams sometimes works with clients helping a parent downsize or move. These situations call for special patience and empathy. You have to "remember that it's their space and their home. Respecting their wishes is really important," she says.
Generally, Adams does not recommend people rent storage space — what she calls "paying rent on your stuff." But, she adds, "if they want to keep everything, plan to move stuff into storage if affordable."
She says it's important to keep in mind that the person or couple moving may be OK with a living room crowded with furniture if it means keeping things they love, even if that's not how you would arrange your house.
Whether you are decluttering on your own, working with a professional, downsizing the family home or repurposing a room as an empty nester, Adams has this advice:
"Be kind to yourself. Something about clutter makes people beat themselves up. They ask: 'Why haven’t I gotten to this?'" As Adams knows, we all have clutter to a greater or lesser degree. However you approach the challenge, it's difficult. But trust me, it feels great to let go of it.
Front Porch is a not-for-profit support system for a family of companies that serve individuals and families through full-service retirement, active adult communities, and affordable housing communities.
I vividly remember turning 40. It was truly the first time it occurred to me that this thing I call “my life” had a horizon, that the notion of dying might actually apply to me someday. It’s not that I had been in denial. There were just many urgent demands on my energy, such as supporting a family and moving up the career ladder.
I’m now nearing 70, and no one needs to remind me I am aging, or that I will die.
The years between 40 and 70 have been a mixed bag, at times exhilarating, at times downright challenging. What I learned along the way is that there are stages most of us go through. With advance knowledge of these phases, you will, I hope, enjoy a smoother ride.
Here’s my map, consisting of six milestones. It will take you all the way from an absorption in the external world of career and parenting (if that is your choice) to a sense of freedom that comes from shifting your focus inward.
Plateau
Most of us find ourselves in midlife enjoying a stable platform. The trials of moving from adolescence into a full sense of adulthood are safely behind us. Our orientation is comfortably outward. And the basis for our ego development is how we are perceived in the world. We are motivated, our path is clear, and ourpurpose is understood.
For me, family vacations during this period were activity intensive. Whether sailing, hiking, or attending ball games, the emphasis was always on having “fun in the sun.” Accomplishments and their tangible rewards made my ego feel “safe” as well, even if there was a turn in the road just ahead that I didn’t see coming.
Early Rumblings
Somewhere in our 50s we begin to sense a disconnect. What felt like a clear connection between effort and reward now seems less apparent. There are the beginnings of an inward tug, a subtle demand to pay more attention to our inner landscape. Larger questions begin to loom, such as: Who am I outside of my roles at work and home? What am I doing that truly matters? How am I helping others?
These are the early warning signs that change is ahead and, if heeded, will be seen later on as gifts. If, instead, we resort to denial and its kissing cousin, distraction, the symptomatic clues will develop into something more debilitating to our physical and mental health. Ironically, this is also commonly the time when our external work is in full-flourish mode, necessitating increased time and attention. Like the cartilage in a runner’s knee, our flexible sense of self is caught in-between two hard places, and isn’t fully reconciled to either.
My choice of activities during this stage became increasingly more introspective: music, art, yoga, reading and even some meditation. Our family vacations were now split between having fun together, and personal retreats for me – a direct reflection of the push/pull I was beginning to feel.
Crossroads
As the challenges of change intensify, we either choose to prepare in earnest for transition into theafter-work years, or we go deeper into denial and distraction. But what does it mean to prepare? What are we preparing for?
In sum, we are beginning to shift from an outward gaze to an inward gaze – from a guidance system that keys off of the external environment to one that takes it cues from our inner being.
I spent many years honing the basic skills that drove my success in the middle years – in essence, an outwardly focused pursuit of achievement through a goal-centered, future-oriented, strategic and predominantly rational orientation to life. Now I felt an urgency to become more reflective, using skills that were instead open-ended, present-oriented and heart-centered.
Decision Point
Finally, we retire from full-time employment. If we’ve done our preparatory work, the still-budding capacities of introspection are strong enough to override feelings of loss and move us instead toward a sense of gain. There is indeed the potential for opening to a fresh and glorious life chapter.
But it often comes at a stiff price. Psychologists tell us that before creating a whole new sense of who we are, and what we’re here to do, we must first let go fully of the life we have lived and how we lived it.
At this point, I knew that the only way out was through. Jumping in deeper, I became certified as a yoga and meditation teacher, which both enhanced my own contemplative practices and launched me into my next stage: helping others.
Rebirth
With continued practice, a sense of awakening floods in, heralding a newfound life-chapter. We learn to better open our hearts, to even lead with our hearts. There is a form of ego relief as we move more clearly into a felt reality bigger than the confines of our own sense of self.
If that sounds too abstract, think of the rewards in terms of good health. Research shows that as we age, there’s a direct connection between our ability to let go of a rigid sense of self and feelings of being truly reconciled, truly happy. In addition, researchers say that those among us who experience high levels of happiness also enjoy bodies and minds that are freer of pain and disease.
Freedom
We all desire to become free – to be a slave to nothing and to no one, especially to our own expectations and conditions. The self-trust we have developed in moving diligently through the various stages brings us right to freedom’s door. And as we learn to open it with vigor and greater frequency, the benefits of abundance emerge. We are peaceful, able to feel deeper levels of compassion and empathy, and to engage freely in unconditional love for ourselves and others.
The journey, for me, was definitely worth the effort. May you feel that as well, and may you reap all the rewards that are yours.
Front Porch is a not-for-profit support system for a family of companies that serve individuals and families through full-service retirement, active adult communities, and affordable housing communities.
