The Way It Is

The Bird's Eye View From Ninety

By Jeanne Warnke, resident at Wesley Palms Retirement Community

Since my sky diving adventure, friends and kin have praised me for being courageous. I don't see it that way. Yes, I am of a "certain age" as they say, but every resident at Wesley Palms knows about being "courageous" in so many ways. We all have reached a stage in life where we experience things that require a great deal of strength — struggle daily through pain of body and pain of losses. It takes effort. It takes courage. If you are a senior, you know what I mean. We all are here at a lovely retirement community for some reason or other. Yes, we miss our old life, and our new one requires much of us, which includes situations we never dreamed we'd have, and it isn't always easy. To those much younger who ask about the right life-style to survive to old age, I admit I don't exercise as I should; I love junk food, and don't care if the early bird gets the worm. I give in to pain sometimes and upset family and bore others by giving "blow by blow" accounts of it all!

There is no true answer to the question; everyone has their own way of dealing with the Golden Years even when they are a bit tarnished. Sometimes I find it annoyingly necessary to reach for my cane on what I refer to as "my bad day," but it is needed for balance. I hope for wisdom of my years, and the courage to face whatever life now presents. Whether good or bad, this is the "now" and better if we can call it just another adventure in living. Funny, but high places always scared me. Perhaps, subconsciously, I took a sky jump to prove something to myself and it did give me a good feeling to conquer that fear. I rejuvenated myself. I'm pleased that I just dumped wise advice and gave in to the urge to see beauty from a bird's eye view. It is similar to the urge that recently had me buying paints to learn about putting happy, bright colors on a canvas. I wish I could ride a horse again—my mother and sister did in their eighties—but I couldn't get a leg up no matter how much I feel that urge. There are things I realize I can't do, and fears I haven't conquered like jumping into the deep end of a swimming pool.

The most important thing is to keep trying to squeeze every bit of joy out of life. So...any one ready to start a Wesley Palms Sky Diving Club?

 

How to Live and Die Well: Buddhist Teachings from my Jewish Grammy

By Carmen Elena Mitchell, Front Porch Communications Coordinator

At 97, my Jewish grandmother was becoming a Buddhist (although, I’m not sure she would have put it that way).

This is what I know: 

My grandmother, Florence Pinchak Misurell, was the daughter of Russian Jews who emigrated to the U.S. in the early 1900s. Her mother, Molly Pinchak, worked as a seamstress in the New York garment factories and eventually opened her own dry goods store. She became a socialist, a suffragette and an atheist. And although she remained very involved in the Jewish community until the end of her life, sewing clothes to send to the Kibbutzim in Israel, she was a devout “non-believer.” 

The story goes that when my mother and father were first dating, Molly sat my father (an Irish Catholic who was having his own crisis of faith) down and grilled him on religion. “What do you think happens after you die?”

Read article in full here.

What inspires you? A Friendship Forged Across Generations

Are age differences a barrier to friendship? In our communities we find that not only are they rarely a barrier, but that friendships forged across generations can be mutually beneficial. Mika Miller, the director of resident services at Carlsbad By The Sea, spoke with two friends, caregiver Daniel Lack and resident Dr. Carlin Matson about how their friendship evolved despite an age gap of almost 80 years.

Daniel Lack: When I began working at Carlsbad By The Sea I came for the experience and to use that experience as a stepping stone in my nursing career. Shortly after starting I was asked to get to know and provide companion care for Dr. Matson. I wasn’t sure what to expect but with an open heart and mind I met one of my best friends.

An age gap of 79 and ½ years had no borders on our relationship. A couple times a week “The Man” himself and I took walks down the boardwalk to State Beach so that we could “mind surf” in the ocean together. We would continue our walks back to Carlsbad By The Sea to play billiards and eat lunch together. This was fun, but it was the in between activity time that Doc and I bonded. The conversations, the goofing around and the stories that we s

hared gave me a grandfather figure who I have a ton of love for.

I will not forget Doc and his wife Ruthie for they have printed a mark on my heart. I am leaving this community and headed back to Long Beach but when I am in the area visiting my friends, the Matson’s are on that list to visit!


Dr. Carlin Matson: Most of my career life was spent in Inglewood, California where I was a dentist to all ages, bought a home and raised children with my beautiful wife Ruthie. I had many friendships along the way.

I retired from dentistry in my 70s and find myself some 32 years later, 102 years old, missing male companionship, someone to share my energy and active time with. My daughter and wife recognized that need so they arranged for a weekly companion. That is where I met Daniel, a very polite and attentive young man.

Gradually a friendship developed over the time spent during those weekly meetings. We would walk and talk, share our stories and play billiards. Sometimes we would share a meal together. I could tell he was a good kid, polite, what we would call a gentleman. We built our friendship over the months.

As all young people do and as I did before him, Daniel found his calling and decided to pursue a nursing career. That being said, he has moved up to the Los Angeles area to begin his schooling. Some would say we had a nice relationship but what we had was an equal relationship, two guys just hanging out and he won’t be forgotten! I look forward to his future visits when he comes not as my companion but as our friend.