Showing posts with label caregiver support. Show all posts
Showing posts with label caregiver support. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Summer House at Villa Gardens: Making Connections

This is the final blog in a three-part series featuring Summer House at Villa Gardens. Visit our archives to read about the innovative care philosophy and life enrichment programming at this unique memory care neighborhood at Villa Gardens Retirement Community in Pasadena, California.


by Katherine Kennedy, MSG

As the manager of Summer House at Villa Gardens, every day I have the opportunity to witness smiles of joy on the faces of our residents as they experience and discover the many life enrichment opportunities we offer. It’s why I do what I do. Yet, many family members seem to miss out on this experience. For some, there is a feeling of weariness and being disconnected that often accompanies anticipatory grief, since some have been on the dementia care journey for close to 20 years. For others it’s due to the perception of memory care as strictly biomedical.

In the early days when Summer House at Villa Gardens first opened, in spite of everything we aspired to create, I felt something was missing. I soon came to realize it was that essential connection with family members; that a vital part of the care-equation should be to offer them support, education, and additional community resources. Positive connections between family and care partners were what could fuel the success of a resident-centered care philosophy. These important connections could encourage positive and possibly transformational engagement opportunities for our residents. We needed a way to make that happen.

Bringing in community leaders in dementia care as guest speakers and hosting quarterly care conferences are just a few of the ways we make connections with families and offer support. This month, for example, our guest speaker from the USC Family Caregiver Support Center will be discussing self-care for family caregivers. We also wanted the ability to share the positive aspects of daily life with our residents’ families. By introducing the The Memory Kit app to our family members we have been able to share precious moments captured throughout the day through photos stored privately within the app. This kind of sharing allows us to celebrate everyone as a group, while also highlighting residents as individuals.

In an effort to continue to grow our family connections, we’ll soon be inviting our family members to participate in activities using It’s Never 2 Late (iN2L), a 70-inch interactive smartboard. By creating personalized “My Pages” for each resident, families can use iN2L to upload photos and videos to their loved one’s page that can then be viewed on the smartboard. Family members will also be invited to use the smartboards alongside residents to engage in residents’ favorite iN2L programs and activities (see Part 2 of this blog series).

Through the use of these innovative tools and a holistic approach to memory care, we’ve found that we’re not only able to offer stimulating activities customized to our resident needs, but that we can begin to bridge the gap between residents and care partners, residents and families, and care partners with each other as we work together to create a supportive and nurturing environment at Summer House at Villa Gardens. 


In observance of National Alzheimer’s Awareness month in November, we are proud to highlight this three-part blog featuring Summer House at Villa Gardens, a memory care neighborhood. Read more about our care philosophy in Part 1 of this series and our innovative approach to Life Enrichment in Part 2.


Katherine Kennedy graduated with a master’s of science in gerontology from USC in 2015 and received a bachelor’s of science in psychology from Santa Clara University. While in graduate school, she worked at the USC Family Caregiver Support Center helping caregivers of adults with brain impairment and completed her graduate internship with Belmont Village Westwood as its operations intern and activities assistant with a focus on memory programs. After graduation, she worked at Alzheimer’s Orange County in the Outreach and Advocacy Department facilitating community outreach projects related to dementia education and advance care planning, as well as became involved as an advisor for The Memory Kit, an app that seeks to unite care partners in celebrating a loved one or a community group. Katherine is now the Summer House manager and administrator in training at Villa Gardens, a Front Porch retirement community where she manages and oversees the care of and therapeutic programming for 19 individuals with Alzheimer’s and related dementias and the care partners who work to accomplish the programs.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

What to Do When Being the Caregiver Is Not an Option

Not everyone has the resources and stamina to take on the role, and it's OK

By Phyllis Quinlan for Next Avenue


Credit: Thinkstock
There are 66 million unpaid adult family caregivers in America — 29 percent of the adult U.S. population — providing care to someone who is ill, disabled or aged, according to the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP. Female caregivers outnumber their male counterparts two to one. In 2012, female family caregivers, on average, were 48 years old, lived alone,and provided about 25 hours of care per week.

As anyone who has done it knows, caregiving is rarely a sprint. It is most often a marathon of planning, adjusting, attending and doing. Not everyone is capable of staying in the race.


When You Cannot Be the Caregiver

What happens when being a caregiver is not an option? What do you do when your own health, personal and career commitments or relationship with the person in need of care leave little room for you to take on the added responsibility that comes with the role?

Many struggle with this relentless internal conflict and the onslaught of negative emotions that often result in a profound sense of isolation. The comments and judgment from outsiders add to your confusion and perhaps toxic sense of self.

What is called for at this crossroad is self-compassion. Surprised? You thought that I was going to suggest that you listen to your harsh self-criticism and dig down deep to find a way to be available and accommodating. Actually, I want you to honor your sense of personal limits and not make a commitment when committing to just one more thing could invite undue hardship or risk your health and well-being.


Ending Negative Messages

Just what is self-compassion? It is responding to yourself (and your situation) with kindness rather than criticism. It is stopping the loop of derogatory self-talk that often takes on the tone we imagine we would hear from some authority figure in our life. It is the extension of kindness, care, warmth and understanding toward oneself when we are faced with the reality of our human shortcomings, inadequacies, or perceived failures.

Self-compassion is not self-pity and does not mean perpetuating a sense of being a victim. It offers you the sense of objectivity and control earned by being an adult. Self-compassion is giving yourself the time and space to make a choice that honors your needs as well as the needs of others. Individuals who are self-compassionate are more likely to learn and grow from the challenges in their lives.

Self-compassion provides the foundation for developing personal resilience. It helps us to maintain a healthy perspective when we are bombarded by those on the periphery of the decision. They are those who are all too often unwilling to lend a hand but are free with judgments and rhetoric designed to manipulate you into thinking that you’re the best or only person who can do the caring when others cannot.

So my recommendation is to stay strong. Honor your understanding of what is best. Do not make a noble sacrifice by ignoring what you intuitively know is right, wrong, healthy or destructive. Respond to the challenge of caregiving with critical thinking rather than judgment clouded by emotion. Put your own oxygen mask on first.

Where to Go for Help
  • Share the Care Organization: sharethecare.org. A not-for-profit organization that trains groups to create care circles for an individual.
  • Veterans Benefits Administration: http://www.benefits.va.gov/benefits/. Site contains information that can connect the vet to benefits and services.
  • HOMETEAM: http://join.hometeamcare.com. Find highly rated in-home care providers
  • Nursing Home Compare: medicare.gov. Site designed to help you shop for the best long-term services in your area.
  • Care Navigators: https://www.healthcare.gov/glossary/navigator/. Helps consumers look for health coverage options through the marketplace, including completing eligibility and enrollment forms. These individuals and organizations are required to be unbiased. Their services are free to consumers.
  • A Place For Mom: http://www.aplaceformom.com/. Connecting families with senior care options.

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