Still Working After 75 — And Loving It

By Chris Farrell for Next Avenue

January 20, 2015

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Willie Nelson is 81; Warren Buffett is 84; Mary Higgins Clark is 86 and David Hockney is 77. All are still working and going strong. So are more and more Americans 75 and older. You might be one of them someday — and glad of it.

In a recent interview, British painter David Hockney — one of the world’s greatest living artists —captured the joy, meaning and youthfulness he continues to draw from his profession. “When I’m working, I feel like Picasso, I feel I’m 30,” he told Tim Lewis of The London Observer. “When I stop I know I’m not, but when I paint, I stand up for six hours a day and yeah, I feel I’m 30.”

'It's What I Enjoy Doing'

I imagine that sentiment rings true for Mark Paper, age 81. He’s President of Lewis Bolt & Nut Company in Wayzata, Minn., a firm owned by his family since 1927. Paper took the helm from his father in 1962 and remains deeply involved in the company’s expanding operations. He gets daily and weekly reports, stays in touch with its executives and flies out to visit the manufacturing plant in La Junta, Colo. several times a month.

“Why not stop working?” I asked Paper. “You have money. You’re 81-years-old. Haven’t you heard of retirement?” His answer: “It’s what I enjoy doing.”

Plenty of other septuagenarians and octogenarians feel the same way.

Although people working at age 75 and over are a distinct minority— comprising less than one percent of the total labor force — roughly 11 percent of American men 75 and older are still at it and 5 percent of women that age are. By contrast, in 1992, only about 7 percent of 75+ men and 3 percent of 75+ women worked.

Indeed, after declining sharply in the early postwar decades, the average age of retirement in America has risen over the past two decades, to 64 for men and 62 for women, calculates Alicia Munnell, head of the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College.

While the labor force participation rate for men 75 and up is currently about double that of the rate for women, the gap is expected to shrink. Boomer and Gen X women are well educated and more attached to their jobs than previous generations.

'I Can't Imagine Not Being Employed'

Marilyn Tully, 75, loves working, too. She has been self-employed her entire working life in businesses mostly revolving around the home and interior design. “I can’t imagine not being employed,” she says. “Especially if you still have the energy, which I do and, like me, you have the creative urge.”

That doesn’t mean there haven’t been rough patches. In 2007, she and her husband had to shutter their Naples, Fla. furniture business, a casualty of the housing market implosion, and her interior design company suffered. These days, her design business is picking up, she represents a successful jewelry designer and consults on inventory management for high-end designers. (Her husband handles the administrative and IT sides of her firms.) When they aren’t working, they sail  Florida’s gulf coast for two weeks at a time on the trimaran Tully’s husband built. “It’s a good life,” she says.

'It Keeps Me Young'

Newspaper publisher Jerry Bellune of Lexington, S.C., 77, works at a pace that would leave many younger workers gasping. He says running the Lexington County Chronicle & Dispatch News with his wife, MacLeod, offers him “enjoyment, exhilaration, a strong sense of mission and purpose.” On top of that, says Bellune, “it keeps me young, working with younger people and helping them grow personally and professionally.”

And he has no plans to stop. “I'd like to work as long as I'm able and can still make a contribution,” Bellune told me.

Here’s a typical workweek for him: Mondays and Tuesdays, he’s usually at the office, writing, proofing pages and talking with the staff about coverage, and the rest of the week he’s mostly writing and helping with community endeavors. Weekends are busy, too, writing weekly and monthly articles for a business magazine and two trade magazines. (He’s also a consultant and manages a family investment fund. Tired yet?)

The Bellunes do take breaks, traveling abroad several weeks a year and spending time at their vacation home. “We have an excellent staff that permits us that leisure,” he says.

'It Keeps Me Off the Streets'

Funeral assistant Jerry Beddow, 75, loves working, too. A year after retiring as a high school principal in 1994, Beddow began his current job at Patton-Schad Funeral and Cremation Services in Sauk Centre, Minn. He works about three to four hours a day, helping position caskets at the funeral home, carrying flowers, talking to grieving families and driving the hearse. “It keeps me off the streets,” he laughs.

After researching my new book, Unretirement, I’ve come to believe that the ranks of people 75+ earning a paycheck will expand in coming decades, especially among better educated employees and business owners. It isn’t inconceivable that the average retirement age when the youngest boomers reach their 70s in the early 2030s could approach 70.

“Public opinion in the aggregate may decree that the average person becomes old at age 68, but you won’t get too far trying to convince people that age that the threshold applies to them,” notes Pew Research in its report, Growing Old in America: Expectations vs. Reality. “Even among those who are 75 and older, just 35 percent say they feel old.”

The ones who are able to keep working well into their 70s, I think, will find themselves leading richer lives, both financially and psychically.

Copyright© 2014 Next Avenue, a division of Twin Cities Public Television, Inc.

Front Porch is a not-for-profit support system for a family of companies that serve individuals and families through full-service retirement, active adult communities, and affordable housing communities.

More information is available at www.frontporch.net.

The Joys of New Friends

5 ways to keep expanding your social network after age 50

By Linda Bernstein for Next Avenue

Hemera/Thinkstock

I used to think that by the time your kids flew the nest, major opportunities for meeting new people you really like winged their way out the window as well. I expected that by the time I hit 50, I’d be singing about old acquaintances all the time, not just humming a nostalgic auld lang syne chorus on New Year’s Eve.

Sure colleges had "parent" committees, but rarely were there face-to-face meetings, given that those parents were flung all over the country. And the only "new" people in the professional arena tended to be, well, more my kids' age than my own.

Experts seem to propound this worldview. In a New York Times article, “Friends of a Certain Age: Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30?” Laura L. Carstensen, director of the Stanford Center on Longevity in California, argued that as people move toward midlife, they interact with fewer people. Hence, they make fewer friends.

Friends Keep Popping Up All Over

Well, Dr. Carstensen, here I am, old enough that people offer me their seat on the bus — and I’m meeting people I like all over the place. My social life is jacked up. Really. The other day my friend Yona came over for lunch. I know Yona through Diane, another recent friend I met through my friend Susan, who was once my boss. This morning Diane told me a silly joke that gave me a laugh exactly when I needed one. Yona recently offered needed emotional support when I made a "career" decision that some would have dubbed "unwise" but I felt relieved me of an unwanted burden. As the song says, “That’s what friends are for” — they make you laugh, and they have your back.

Then there’s my relatively new friend Amy. I sat next to her at a conference a year and a half ago, and she immediately started introducing me to everyone she knew there (a lot more people than I did), included me in her lunch plans, and has become a generous colleague and one of the people I love spending time with. The thing about Amy is that she’s not quite young enough to be my daughter, but almost. (If, like Loretta Lynn, I had been married off as a teen, she would be.)

Sure, there’s a bit of a generation gap between us: She has school-age kids, and mine are solidly in their 20s. But my “grandma” and “mom” poles seem to be demagnetized when she tells stories about her boys. I am amused or bemused — a friend response. When I worry out loud about my young adult offspring, she doesn’t overempathize with them; it’s me she relates to and cares about.

This is another surprise: New friends can be quite younger — and older — than I am. When you're 30, a 10-year age difference seems a chasm. It is, after all, one-third of your life. Now that I'm over 50, 40 seems not so far back; 65 not so far ahead. Ann, whom I met running around the reservoir in New York's Central Park, has grandchildren not so much younger than my kids, but she can run at my pace and keep up a conversation, largely recounting the previous night's comedic monologues. (Which means I have developed the capacity to laugh and run at the same time.)  

These new friends aren’t only of the female persuasion — though I believe that if you’re married and a new male friend isn’t part of a “friendship couple,” it may be harder for the two of you to hang out. Yet I can spend hours on Skype with Maxwell, who lives on the West Coast, without making my husband jealous because (a) Maxwell is all of 40, married to a dynamite woman and clearly not interested in me in “that way,” and (b) we talk about things like html code and subjects way too tech-geeky to enthrall the philosophy professor I married.

When Maxwell was in town recently and we met for a drink, my husband begged off, knowing he would be bored, bored, bored and confident that nothing would happen IRL.

Five Ways to Make New Friends

“All well and good, Linda,” you might be thinking, “but just how do you bring people into your life when, as the experts point out, your opportunities for social interactions are shrinking?”

Answer: Just cast your net—the wider the better. Here’s how I found new friends. And I should mention that I’m actually pretty shy, not a natural extrovert, so you can’t use that as an excuse.

1. Take classes. I am the type who looovvvees school. Still, continuing education classes aren’t quite “school” for those who didn’t like the classroom setting growing up. Mostly you sit around with other adults learning something interesting. You don’t have to do homework unless you want to. (But that’s the great thing: You’ll probably want to).

If there are any colleges or university extensions near you, do a Google search to see what’s on offer. Community centers, Ys and religious institutions also frequently host discussion groups and courses. Another place with new friendship possibilities, and don’t laugh: Weight Watchers meetings. In person. (Yes, those still happen.) Or spend a day with Habitat for Humanity or another volunteer organization. You’ll be exchanging phone numbers by cocktail hour.

2. Join Facebook and LinkedIn. I know: You already did. But are you using them to the max? Facebook is where you can find friends from high school and college with whom you’ve lost touch. Then, though comments, you meet their friends, whom you soon find yourself conversing. I have become friends, and now met in real life, the mother of a young woman about my daughter's age whom I met through work and who "friended" me on Facebook.

Twitter is a wonderful place to discover people you’d never meet otherwise (and sometimes probably will never see face-to-face because they live in, like, New Zealand).

A great thing that has come out of all these online networks is what Twitter folks call the "Tweet Up," but more generally could be simply dubbed a "get-together." People who live nearby but have so far only met online plan a get-together for coffee or a drink. Many times you’ll find yourself trying to pin many new faces to names. Other times it’s just you and one other person grabbing a cup of coffee. Once you’re face-to-face with an online friend, I’ve found, if you take a shine to each other, you’ll start conversing through email and even take it to the phone. If not too much travel is involved, you’ll find yourself seeing your new friends regularly.

What can be really fun is literally going the extra mile. A whole bunch of people I know online who live in the Southwest are converging on Phoenix next Saturday .… just because. Oh, and when you get social, you’ll also get to know friends-of-friends, which is more than a Facebook privacy setting. It’s in-real-life people added to your non-virtual social life.

3. Work out at the gym. True, it’s not easy having a conversation while you’re puffing away on the treadmill or swinging those kettle balls. But what I've found is that there are certain people you see time after time, especially if you take classes. First you start smiling at each other, then you say hi. Finally you have a real conversation in the locker room. Next thing you know, you’re grabbing a post-workout coffee with your new gym buddy.

4. Rediscover old friends. Not just online, either. There’s a woman who lives nearby whom I have kinda-sorta known for years. We were both active in our kids’ PTA and spent time together back then. But you know how things go. The kids grew up, and our contacts dwindled to saying “hi” at the supermarket.

Last summer we ran into each other on the block, and she suggested, totally impromptu, that I come and hang in her backyard. We sat around for hours — first bonding over an intense discussion of cleaning products. From there we went on to our kids, our husbands, Broadway shows and, finally, our hopes and dreams. We simply and magically clicked.  

Not too long ago I also connected with a woman I knew in college but we had totally lost touch. While talking at a party we discovered we’ve lived almost parallel lives since graduation. We know the same people, live close by, have children the same age. We even have the same make and model piano! To my good fortune, this re-acquaintance has become a good friend.

I remember having the thought when I was about 18 that as you got older, the people you met would be more interesting because they'd have so many more stories (i.e., experiences) to share. This indeed has proved true. Also, now that we're more comfortable in our own skins and past the age when we feel the need to impress, bonding comes more naturally. We might have more baggage, but it's easier to unpack.

5. Participate in Meet Ups. Just Google it. All over the world professional groups schedule meetings for casual conversation and networking. Sometimes a member gives a presentation; other times it's just drinks. Either way, discard your cloak-of-shyness and get out there. I know people who have garnered clients and secured job interviews at these kinds of gatherings. I recently found someone who told me that she'd look into some little quirky problems I'm having with my website — for free. Also Google "BNI" (Business Networking International) to find a nearby group (which you'll have to apply to join) or "Professional Networks."

Live Long and Prosper

Having great people to hang out with isn’t the only benefit to making friends as we get older. Social interactions actually help us live longer, say Brigham Young University professors Julianne Holt-Lunstad and Timothy Smith. “When someone is connected to a group and feels responsibility for other people, that sense of purpose and meaning translates to taking better care of themselves and taking fewer risks," Holt-Lunstad explained. Watching out for our own well-being adds years to our lives. (Well, duh.)

This research and the joy my new friends bring reminds me of a camp song I learned long ago: “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.” Except what I’m finding is that new friends and old friends are both gold.

Copyright© 2014 Next Avenue, a division of Twin Cities Public Television, Inc.

ABOUT FRONT PORCH

Front Porch is a not-for-profit support system for a family of companies that serve individuals and families through full-service retirement, active adult communities, and affordable housing communities.

More information is available at www.frontporch.net.

Introducing Stitch: A New Program that Connects Seniors with Shared Interests! Program to be Piloted by the Front Porch Center for Innovation and Wellbeing

Residents living at Front Porch retirement communities often tell me that once they move in, it’s pretty easy to make friends. With a variety of clubs, groups and social activities to choose from, it’s just a matter of time before a newcomer finds someone who shares his or her interests or has a similar background that makes a lasting personal connection possible. 

Now there’s a new program that offers new opportunities to find friends and connect with other like-minded individuals!  It’s called Stitch. The creators of Stitch are partnering with our Front Porch Center for Innovation and Wellbeing to help pilot the program. Stitch was developed by a San Francisco-based company called Tapestry. The program helps link people 50 and over, based on mutual interests. You may say that Stitch is just like any other “dating” web site but it’s not. Stitch focuses on companionship rather than love and marriage. Stitch has done research and found that not everyone is looking for love, but everyone is looking for companions – a golf buddy, a dinner date, a hiking companion, a travel partner, etc. But because of divorce or the death of a spouse or of friends, regular companionship may be missing which can lead to social isolation.

Many experts have documented the devastating effects of social isolation among older adults including serious health consequences. Stitch’s founders recognized this and were determined to help.

Earlier this month, Stitch announced its expansion into Southern California and invited the Front Porch Center to test its innovative program among residents living at several Front Porch communities. In a few months, resident volunteers will sign up for Stitch and give feedback to the Center on their experiences. These Stitch users will connect with fellow residents living at other Front Porch communities as well as other seniors living nearby.

Stitch’s founders attribute its initial success to an extra level of security—an age minimum requirement and identity verification. Stitch requires a thorough identity check before full profiles can be viewed and communication is allowed. This identity check ensures that all members are over 50 years of age, making Stitch the only restricted peer-to-peer online social connection service for Baby Boomers and seniors.

The Front Porch Center looks for innovative ways to use technology to empower individuals to live well, especially in their later years and to harness technology solutions that support and enhance wellbeing and help each of us to thrive in mind, body and spirit. Stitch’s efforts to help older adults find meaningful relationships and improve wellbeing is an important part of that equation.

Stay tuned to this blog for more about Stitch in the coming months. For more information about Stitch, visit www.stitch.net.

— Mike Martinez

Senior Communications Director, Front Porch

Creating a Story of Hope in the Face of Dementia

by Nancy Gordon, Director California Lutheran Homes and Sunny View Centers for Spirituality and Aging, a Front Porch Partner

Just note the momentary panic that we feel when a word or a name is on the “tip of the tongue,” when we can’t find our keys or our glasses, when we realize we’ve forgotten to pay a bill or make an important phone call. We joke about these “senior moments” and fervently hope that it’s just a temporary lapse, not the beginning of something more serious. So what is it that we are so afraid of? 

Dementia is an umbrella term describing a variety of diseases and conditions that develop when nerve cells in the brain die or no longer function normally. Alzheimer’s disease accounts for 60 to 80 percent of dementia cases. Other types of dementia are vascular dementia, dementia with Lewy bodies, mixed dementia, and Parkinson’s disease.

Read article in full at the Lutheran Services of America Newsletter

How to Live and Die Well: Buddhist Teachings from my Jewish Grammy

By Carmen Elena Mitchell, Front Porch Communications Coordinator

At 97, my Jewish grandmother was becoming a Buddhist (although, I’m not sure she would have put it that way).

This is what I know: 

My grandmother, Florence Pinchak Misurell, was the daughter of Russian Jews who emigrated to the U.S. in the early 1900s. Her mother, Molly Pinchak, worked as a seamstress in the New York garment factories and eventually opened her own dry goods store. She became a socialist, a suffragette and an atheist. And although she remained very involved in the Jewish community until the end of her life, sewing clothes to send to the Kibbutzim in Israel, she was a devout “non-believer.” 

The story goes that when my mother and father were first dating, Molly sat my father (an Irish Catholic who was having his own crisis of faith) down and grilled him on religion. “What do you think happens after you die?”

Read article in full here.

I Was There: Remembering Martin Luther King, Jr.

Have you ever experienced a moment when you were forced to put your beliefs into action? When you knew you couldn't sit idly by and wait for someone else to take a stand?

For Don McEvoy, a friend and colleague of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. that moment came in his early 20s when he was a young pastor in the segregated south during the 1950s.

In this video Don McEvoy shared with us the moment that made him realize that he wanted to dedicate his life to the fight for civil rights.

Don McEvoy is a resident at Wesley Palms Retirement Community. We’ll be posting more of his interview in the weeks to come. Stay tuned!

What inspires you? A Friendship Forged Across Generations

Are age differences a barrier to friendship? In our communities we find that not only are they rarely a barrier, but that friendships forged across generations can be mutually beneficial. Mika Miller, the director of resident services at Carlsbad By The Sea, spoke with two friends, caregiver Daniel Lack and resident Dr. Carlin Matson about how their friendship evolved despite an age gap of almost 80 years.

Daniel Lack: When I began working at Carlsbad By The Sea I came for the experience and to use that experience as a stepping stone in my nursing career. Shortly after starting I was asked to get to know and provide companion care for Dr. Matson. I wasn’t sure what to expect but with an open heart and mind I met one of my best friends.

An age gap of 79 and ½ years had no borders on our relationship. A couple times a week “The Man” himself and I took walks down the boardwalk to State Beach so that we could “mind surf” in the ocean together. We would continue our walks back to Carlsbad By The Sea to play billiards and eat lunch together. This was fun, but it was the in between activity time that Doc and I bonded. The conversations, the goofing around and the stories that we s

hared gave me a grandfather figure who I have a ton of love for.

I will not forget Doc and his wife Ruthie for they have printed a mark on my heart. I am leaving this community and headed back to Long Beach but when I am in the area visiting my friends, the Matson’s are on that list to visit!


Dr. Carlin Matson: Most of my career life was spent in Inglewood, California where I was a dentist to all ages, bought a home and raised children with my beautiful wife Ruthie. I had many friendships along the way.

I retired from dentistry in my 70s and find myself some 32 years later, 102 years old, missing male companionship, someone to share my energy and active time with. My daughter and wife recognized that need so they arranged for a weekly companion. That is where I met Daniel, a very polite and attentive young man.

Gradually a friendship developed over the time spent during those weekly meetings. We would walk and talk, share our stories and play billiards. Sometimes we would share a meal together. I could tell he was a good kid, polite, what we would call a gentleman. We built our friendship over the months.

As all young people do and as I did before him, Daniel found his calling and decided to pursue a nursing career. That being said, he has moved up to the Los Angeles area to begin his schooling. Some would say we had a nice relationship but what we had was an equal relationship, two guys just hanging out and he won’t be forgotten! I look forward to his future visits when he comes not as my companion but as our friend.