When There is a Will Involved, Always Find a Way ... to Get it Done

At about 11,000 feet above sea level, the ledge was cold despite that fact that it was the middle of summer. Overtaken by 80 mile per hour winds, my climbing partner and I had just been forced off a summit attempt on Lone Pine Peak, near Mt. Whitney. We descended until it was too dark to continue. Anchored by our rope to the wall, we felt relatively safe until the rock fall started.

At that time I had one son and no will. I had a long, mostly sleepless night to contemplate the fact that, while Melissa and I had talked about a will even before Kellen was born, he was four and a half years old and we had yet to put together the most critical part of our estate plan. How ironic it was, that in my role as an executive for the Pacific Homes and FACT foundations, I had given a presentation on the importance of having a will to the residents of Wesley Palms Retirement Community in San Diego a few months before my trip.

Oftentimes estate planning is derailed by thorny decisions. For Melissa and I, it was the issue of who would raise Kellen if we were both gone. Family dynamics in such matters can create uncomfortable tension in spousal and other relationships and sometimes it seems easier to say “let’s talk about it later.” No one wants to ruin a nice dinner with an argument about guardianship.

Last month, a resident at another Front Porch retirement community, Casa de Manana, shared a similar story with me. She had recently revised her will after agonizing for many months over choosing an executor. Her estate planning had been stalled out of her fear that choosing one child over another would cause conflict with and between her children. She was pleased to relate that, after discussing the matter them and opening up long-closed lines of communication about finances, end-of –life choices, and personal values, her relationships with her children had actually grown deeper. She found that the decision she had feared for so long was a blessing in disguise.

Melissa and I had a similar experience in updating our will when having frank (and long overdue) conversations with our respective families. Here are my suggestions in approaching your estate planning:

• Assessing the overall goals of your estate plan is the key to getting started.
• Don’t concern yourself with asset distribution initially. First determine what you want to accomplish for friends, family and charity after you are gone, then think about finances in the context of those goals.
• Oftentimes, though not always, consulting family members about a difficult estate planning decision can reduce your anxiety.
• Once you have established your over-arching goals, your professional advisors can help you implement your plan.

Melissa and I have three boys now and a will. Kellen climbs with me regularly. And I always check the weather forecast before we go.

—Keith Church

Love on a Leash

Being the CFO of Front Porch is a pretty intense job, so when I’m not working, I like to do things that are totally unrelated to business and money. One of the passions I’ve discovered since coming to Front Porch is having a dog and sharing him with the community. In 2010, my husband and I decided to adopt a rescue dog. We were fortunate enough to find Mowgli, a Pomeranian mix who is one of the best dogs ever! Not only is he really cute, but his personality is perfect for his new “career.”

Mowgli is a certified four-legged therapist, and I’m his handler. You may wonder what a certified therapy dog is. Therapy dogs provide comfort, companionship and plenty of smiles to hospital patients, retirement community and care center residents, school children and countless others throughout the United States. Their purpose is to make people happy by sharing their love. Mowgli and I have been to several Front Porch communities to visit with the residents, and also regularly volunteer at St. Mary’s Hospital in Long Beach. It is really gratifying when patients who see him each week say, “Oh, I’ve been waiting for him” or comment about how much better they feel just to be able to stroke his fur and look into his soulful brown eyes. Mowgli is a big kisser too; if people want “doggie kisses,” he is happy to lick their hands and faces for hours.

I’m often asked how dogs can become certified therapy dogs. Many schools, skilled nursing care centers and hospitals require that a dog be certified through a reputable organization before they will allow the dog to come for visits. This is a good idea because certified therapy dogs have to pass a test confirming their reliable behavior in a variety of circumstances that could be stressful for many. The organization Mowgli is certified by is called Therapy Dogs International (www.tdi-dog.org), which is the oldest and largest therapy dog organization in the United States.

In addition to having a current veterinary exam certifying good health and current vaccination certificates, in order to become a therapy dog through TDI, a dog must pass 15 tests. There is a complete list of the tests on the website, but generally the tests confirm the dog’s ability to obey the handler’s commands, react well to other dogs and people, and react well to things commonly present in a hospital or care center setting such as walkers, crutches, etc. If you have a dog that has a calm and obedient disposition, yet is friendly, affectionate and confident, you and your dog could be ideal candidates for the TDI program.

There are many organizations that appreciate therapy dogs, including hospitals, senior communities, care centers and schools. At some point in their lives, almost everyone has owned or been close to a dog. It is amazing to see people’s eyes light up when they have the opportunity to pet a dog and remember their own special friends from the past. Several times, nursing staff has commented to me that residents with Alzheimer’s or dementia became noticeably more responsive when Mowgli came to see them.

It is really rewarding to be able to care for and share my special doggie. One of the misperceptions I had before I got him was that dogs like to be indulged and treated like people. I learned that they really don’t. Dogs need structure and positive discipline, and they are happier when their owner is the “pack leader.” They actually get stressed out when their owner doesn’t take a firm lead because they think they need to step in and fill the void, but don’t really know how. This is what often leads to bad dog behavior. One great piece of advice I read was not to tolerate any behavior in a small dog (such as jumping on people) that you wouldn’t tolerate in a large dog. Mowgli’s obedience training helped me become a better dog owner/handler, and prepared both of us well for the TDI testing. When Mowgli won his first place trophy in novice obedience, I knew he was a special boy!

Many people comment to me that they wish they had a dog, but just can’t because they live in a condo or apartment. I understand that challenge, and used to think the same thing. My husband and I live in a 4th floor condo with no access to a yard of any kind, so we have to walk Mowgli three or four times per day. We already had two cats and weren’t sure how well they would like living with a dog. It was an adjustment for all of us, but has been SO worth it! Not only do we stay on a regular exercise program more easily, but the joy and love he has brought into our lives far exceed the extra work involved. If you’ve ever thought about getting a dog, I encourage you to take the plunge. You’ll wonder how you ever lived without your furry friend!

— Mary Miller

Happiness and Life Your Way!

I was recently somewhere and I was asked to provide my “prescription” for happiness. Unable to come up with a prescription Emersonian in its’ universality & elegance like the others in attendance, I wrote an unsophisticated list of some simple things that make me happy (in other words, life my way).

As Front Porch is all about living life your way, I thought it might be interesting to find out what makes you happy, the things that stir you or as it was stated to me, your “prescription” for happiness. Let me know, be as elegant as you like. Here is mine:

— Wine
— Beer
— Golf
— Hawaii
— Golf in Hawaii
— Golf with beer in Hawaii
— Bruges
— A Laker victory
— A Laker championship
— Kirk Gibson’s homer
— Vin Scully’s voice
— The thought of the McCourts no longer owning the Dodgers
— Grilling with family and friends
— Sand between my toes
— Watering the yard
— My backyard hammock
— A Langer’s No. 19 sandwich
— A Grimaldi’s of Brooklyn pizza
— Nam Kao Tod at Lotus of Siam
— My homemade paella
— A Joe Strummer song
— The words “New Orleans”
— My wife
— My son spelling words
— My son playing
— My son’s happiness
— My mother’s smile

Tell me your prescription for happiness ...

Prost!

—Rob Klose

The Best Sandwich

Young or old, everyone loves to debate what’s “best.” Couple that debate with food and restaurants and the conversation gets very interesting, and sometimes heated. So let’s talk about something very simple. The humble sandwich. And who makes the best.

New Yorkers believe that their delis trump just about anywhere on the planet. Folks from New Orleans place their bet on their beloved po’ boys (and who can deny them, a crawfish po’ boy can be pretty darned good). Philadelphians, well, they have their cheese steaks.

I’ve been to a lot of the “temples” of sandwich in various states and, for my money, my choice for the best sandwich in America is one local to our communities in Southern California. Heresy, some will probably say as there is a well held belief that no great sandwich can come from SoCal. SoCal has great dining of all sorts, but there is a belief that our sandwiches don’t cut the mustard, so to speak.

For the longest time, I was a firm believer in this food philosophy as well. That's fine I thought. We have a lot of other choices in SoCal: like all the great taco trucks, 20 different kinds of Mexican, great Japanese, Chinese, some awesome fine dining and lots of other choices. And we do have some great sandwiches as well (I thought), but most of them are of the foie gras with a poached egg variety (which is certainly fine, but what about a good old fashioned "sandwich" sandwich). The kind one any American could be proud of. In this we were lacking, or so I thought.

All of that changed about 6 months ago, when I finally visited Langer’s Deli in Macarthur Park near downtown Los Angeles and just a few miles away from Front Porch’s Kingsley Manor Retirement Community. It is at that moment, that I came to understand what true greatness in a sandwich looks and tastes like – it looks like a Langer’s No. 19.

Opened in 1947, some of you have may have visited Langer’s in your youth, or perhaps even more recently. If you haven’t been, I encourage you to do so – it would make for a fun outing with your friends, your grandkids, kids, staff at your community, whomever. Langer’s No.19 is the thing of legends. It’s that rare item that actually lives up to the hype that surrounds it. Thick, succulent, smoky, sliced pastrami, served on warm rye bread that has a perfect crust, and topped with warm Swiss cheese, crisp coleslaw and Russian dressing. Perfection. Mesmerizing. The Delphic Oracle of pastrami. And every bit as good as any you will find in the famous pastrami “churches” of New York (i.e. Katz, Stage, etc.).

A visit to Langer’s Delicatessen is both a step back in time and a current culinary classic. Now, a sandwich at Langer’s is not necessarily the cheapest sandwich out there. Lunch will run the average person about $20. But quality trumps in these matters (at least when one is talking about “the best”), and there are certainly none better. Perhaps you have a favorite sandwich that you’d like to share with us all. Maybe a sandwich that you think rivals a Langer’s No. 19. Maybe a place that would make for a fun outing. Let us know. We’d love to hear from you. Write and tell us what you think is “the best.”

- Rob Klose

P.S., you can visit Langer's online at www.langersdeli.com.

Your IRA and Charitable Rollovers

If you’re like me, each year you try to donate to the organizations and causes you care about. If you ever thought of donating to your alma mater, or a favorite cause, please also consider one of Front Porch’s partner foundations. Our foundation partners, California Lutheran Homes Foundation, FACT Foundation, Pacific Homes Foundation or Sunny View Foundation, help support resident programs and services as well as capital projects at our affiliated retirement communities and affordable housing in the greater community. Here is a great article about using your IRA to make a charitable rollover.

If you’d like to discuss this or other philanthropic matters, such as a gift annuity which can provide great tax advantages along with a steady stream of income, please don’t hesitate to contact one of our three foundation executives: Keith Church (Pacific Homes and FACT foundations), Ross Merritt (California Lutheran Homes Foundation) or Bill Penrod (Sunny View Foundation). You may email them at the foundation web sites linked above. They can help you with all of your charitable gifting matters.

- Rob Klose

Just Around the Corner From Sunny View

Did you know that just minutes away from Sunny View Retirement Community lies one of California’s greatest and most storied wineries? That’s right. Ridge Winery (in Cupertino, CA) sits merely a few miles away from one of our own communities and its’ tasting room is open 11 am to 4 pm on the weekends and by appointment throughout the week.

Ridge Winery (bonded in 1962 but with a grape growing history that stretches back to the 1800s) sits atop the “ridge” of the Santa Cruz Mountains just to the west of Sunny View. Part of the Ridge Winery estate is the Monte Bello vineyard which routinely puts out one of the best Cabernet-based wines in the state (and the world). It is actually one of the few California wines intended to be aged, improving and gaining in complexity as it gets older. I’ve tasted (thanks to friends of mine) some 20-year-old Ridge Monte Bello wines and they have never failed to greatly impress everyone at the tasting.

At around $80 per bottle, Ridge Monte Bello certainly isn’t cheap by any standard. But in comparison to the other premier wines of the world (which run anywhere from $100 to $1,000 a bottle upon release) it actually represents a quasi bargain in the fine wine world. And Ridge, thankfully, produces plenty of other wines which are much more wallet friendly, like their Zinfandels which cost anywhere from $12 to $30. Ridge Geyserville is a particularly fine example of what a red Zinfandel can be. They also produce a great Chardonnay for those that are interested.

Ridge Winery, and more specifically its Monte Bello vineyard, has been written about by every major wine writer in the world, from Robert Parker to Jancis Robinson to the Wine Spectator. In 1976, it actually participated in what is now called “The Judgment of Paris” about which there have been books and movies made.

Ridge Winery has long been one of my favorite wineries. I encourage any and all residents, staff and friends of Sunny View to take advantage of the world class winery in your back-yard. You’ll be happy you did (oh yeah, and the views from their winery are amazing)!

- Rob Klose

Your Story

In my first blog, I talked to you about who I am (at least a little bit) and what I do for Front Porch. With that in mind, I thought I would bring up a very important program that we have at Front Porch that some of you may not be aware of.

We all want to create our own legacy – the way we want others to view us and think about us. We want others to realize that our lives are important, even if it’s through the telling of some small but very important memory from childhood that we hold dearly. It’s why great writers write, great painters paint, and so on. To leave something enduring of one’s self that says, “This is what I believe or what I think or what I did.”

Yet, not all of us are great writers. I know I’m not. What’s more, most of us have neither the time, patience nor the inclination to take pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) to do so if we could. It’s a heck of a lot of work.

I don’t know how many of you are aware of this, but one of our foundation-funded projects (funded by California Lutheran Homes and Community Services) is a program called “Memoirs.” This program was created specifically for the reasons mentioned above – to leave a lasting legacy for those not inclined to take on the Herculean task of writing down their life stories.

The program allows residents at all Front Porch communities the opportunity to record their life’s stories onto a DVD (for family, loved ones and the participants themselves to view). The program is spearheaded by Bonnie Stover, director of Volunteer Services, and Don and Joyce Harvey who are residents of Carlsbad By The Sea Retirement Community. The Harveys are wonderful volunteers who help tremendously by recording the memoirs and making sure that participants are comfortable and relaxed for the telling of their stories. I first met Don three to four years ago while hosting a California Lutheran Homes Foundation-sponsored wine social at Carlsbad By The Sea. I found him to be an extremely knowledgeable man and one who is also very easy to talk to. I think you will too.

I encourage any Front Porch resident who is interested in recording their life’s story to contact Don or Bonnie Stover at 818-729-8189 and arrangements will be made to begin creating your “memoir” and legacy. You can tell your very important story without having to be a great writer.

- Rob Klose